Origin Stories: Whomp Butt Carry Water

You know how when the Hollywood Gordon Geckoes want to milk more money from a tired old movie franchise they reboot it with an origin story?

This is something the NFL has no clue about. They just play out the scripts the sportswriters compose for them. Anybody who forgets their lines gets verbally abused by the media until they "execute". 

We cast you as a bum, stick to the script.

So far, the Commanders haven't forgotten their lines. They're following the media's instructions even though the writers of the script are headed for a world-historical harvest of Razzies. 

The Commanders are now tanking. Even though the franchise has tanked so much in the past thirty years a Titanic level failure is possible. This is where it is unimportant how well the movie is doing. They're shutting down the theatres.

If they keep writing this script, they are going to shut down Washington as a "theatre of operations" for the NFL. I don't care what they say. The people who talk about tanking have something against football in Washington. Deep down they don't want it here. Perhaps it's the haute couture they look to replace football with. Maybe they'd settle for Madden Tournaments. Hosted by Kate Upton. Played to Mozart Concertos. Vaping allowed.

This particular limbo situation the Washington Commanders are in lends itself nicely to media poopstorms of outrageous proportions. Ron Rivera is an already fired Zombie Coach, dead in the water, as is Eric Bieniemy, the foul-mouthed genius. The players are not "elite" and the search for a Flash Gordon Quarterback, like Quixote's search for the Windmill, goes on.  

We've seen that movie so many times before in Washington. It is the same people leading the way. Carrying torches. Looking for the Frankenstein monster. 

Their football model doesn't work. It never has. It is a vision problem. They can't see anything but sewage. 

The only reason to write about media instigated crap is somehow it gets into a locker room. The players start hallucinating the same sewage the media is tripping over.

I'm talking about a self-imaging system. Where do you see yourself in five years type of thing. Poor self-image contributes to poor performance in life and in football. To put it differently, your mental reps, in a poor imaging system, are mainly nightmares. Not visions of touchdowns. Precise execution. Dates with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Hefting the Lombardi Trophy.

Those horror movies are written by scribes and pharisees, hypocrites! 

Maybe the Commanders don't know they can write their own scripts. Some of these young guys on the team may not know it but they are writing their origin story. My legend began that fateful day against the Miami Dolphins when I knocked the ball out and took it in for the Touch. And the Fans went wild. Both of them!

I mean the two who knew my name. Now there will be more of them.

I'm enamored with the Many Worlds Theory as of late. Each of these Washington Commander Players, afflicted by bad writing from outside the locker room, is creating his world minute by minute. He wants a world that takes care of him and his family. The story of that world has to be an autobiography. Or else you're living in somebody else's house playing by somebody else's rules. And most of them don't like you.

Yes they're worlds unto themselves. How does that fit playing as a team? How can many worlds lead to One World Government?

First of all, what team? There is no team. The coach is gone. The owner is doing research in the library. The end of the season seems to be the point at which the Washington Whatsamahcallits come into existence. Nothing of much importance will happen before then.

Well, if it's all the same to you, and it really isn't important to you until 2025 or 2026, you shouldn't mind much if these guys rewrote their lines to the point where the story is all about their having the times of their lives WHOMPING BUTTS?!?!

I mean, you are quantum-jumping to the end anyway, right?